Breakout Rooms: Why Do We Fear Them and How Can We Fix Them?

If there’s one thing that strikes fear into the hearts of online training attendees, it’s this phrase: “I’m going to pop you into some breakout rooms now!” At that moment, you can practically feel the resistance through the screen. Some people audibly groan. Others go silent. A few mysteriously disappear altogether.

I ran a small poll to find out exactly what people do when faced with an online breakout room. Here’s what I found:

• 12% said they had simply left the call at that point. (Cold. Brutal. Effective.)

• 16% said they turned their camera off and stayed silent. (The digital equivalent of hiding under the desk.)

• 28% admitted to groaning inwardly before reluctantly going in. (At least they stuck with it?)

• And just 4% said they really liked online breakout rooms. (I’d love to meet these people and study them like rare birds.)

With stats like these, you’d be forgiven for wanting to never use breakout rooms again. But that would be a mistake, because when done well, they can be a fantastic tool for engagement, collaboration, and deeper learning.

So why do online breakout rooms cause such panic when in-person group work doesn’t? And how can we make them less like a digital house of horrors? Let’s dive in.

Why Do People Loathe Online Breakout Rooms?

The resistance to breakout rooms is seemingly far greater online than in real life. But why? A mix of psychology and technology is to blame.

1. The awkwardness factor

In a face-to-face setting, group discussions form more naturally. You can read body language, make eye contact, and gradually ease into a conversation. Online, however, you’re suddenly thrown into a silent void with strangers, staring at tiny floating heads, waiting for someone to say something.

2. The fear of speaking first

Research shows that social inhibition, the reluctance to speak up in uncertain situations, is heightened in online environments (Suler, 2004). Without the usual social cues, people hesitate to be the first to talk. The result? Usually thirty seconds of unbearable silence until someone finally cracks and blurts out: “So…what are we supposed to be doing?”

3. The feeling of being trapped

In a physical room, if a conversation isn’t working, you can subtly shift away, make eye contact with the facilitator, or at least pretend to be taking notes. In a breakout room? You’re stuck. Everyone can see you. There’s no escape (short of faking a Wi-Fi issue).

4. The lack of context

Too often, people get thrown into breakout rooms without a clear purpose or structure. Uncertainty leads to discomfort, and discomfort leads to disengagement. Simple as that.

Why Should We Bother With Breakout Rooms at All?

Despite the fear and loathing, breakout rooms do offer huge benefits when used properly.

• They increase participation by giving quieter attendees a chance to speak without the pressure of a big audience.

• They foster deeper learning by allowing discussion, reflection, and peer-to-peer problem-solving.

• They improve retention, as active participation is linked to better learning outcomes (Chi & Wylie, 2014).

• They boost engagement, as research shows people retain more when they interact rather than just listen (Bonner, 2010).

So, how do we keep the benefits without making people want to fake an emergency and log off?

How to Make Breakout Rooms Less Painful (and More Effective)

The good news? With a few tweaks, breakout rooms can go from soul-crushingly awkward to genuinely useful.

1. Sell it to them

Before splitting people into groups, explain why you’re doing it and what’s in it for them. Instead of saying, “I’m putting you into breakout rooms now,” try:

“We’re going to break into small groups for five minutes so you can discuss X. This will help you apply what we’ve just covered, and you’ll get a chance to hear different perspectives.”

People resist things they don’t understand. Give them a reason to engage.

2. Set clear expectations

Avoid the "So...what are we supposed to be doing?" moment by giving crystal-clear instructions before sending people in.

• Explain the task concisely.

• Give them specific discussion points.

• Set a clear time limit.

Better yet, put the instructions in the chat so they can refer back to them.

3. Create a safe, supportive environment

The more comfortable people feel, the more likely they are to engage.

• Start with icebreakers to warm people up.

• Keep breakout groups consistent so attendees build familiarity.

• Encourage cameras on, but don’t force it; some people have genuine reasons for keeping them off.

4. Keep them short and snappy

Online, attention spans are shorter, and discomfort builds faster. While a long breakout discussion might work in person, anything over 10 minutes online can feel too long (especially during the early stages of a session). So, aim for 6-8 minutes at first, then build from there.

5. Give people a role

Unstructured breakout rooms often lead to awkward silence. By assigning roles (e.g. timekeeper, discussion lead, note-taker) you give everyone a clear function and make participation feel more natural.

Final Thoughts: A Little Planning Goes a Long Way

Yes, breakout rooms have a reputation problem. But that’s not because they’re a bad idea, it’s because they’re often badly executed.

With a little preparation, clear instructions, and a dose of empathy, breakout rooms can transform from dreaded isolation chambers into powerful learning spaces.

And when they work well, they create moments of real connection, thoughtful discussion, and shared learning, which are exactly the kind of things that make training truly valuable.